How To Connect With Your Spouse From Week To Week

Families are busier than ever before. Meetings, bible studies, practices, birthday parties, date nights, vacations, cookouts, eye appointments, etc…Does this sound familiar? One of the best things Marilyn and I ever did was figure out a system for syncing our schedules. Here’s how we do it…


First, understand that the secret to a successful calendar sync is layering your communication. It should be easy, fun, and NOT legalistic. Remember this is supposed to help eliminate fights, not start new ones.

This is my beloved, and this is my friend. -Song of Songs 5:16

Are you the organized one of the family? Be patient with your spouse as he/she learns new technology and breaks bad habits. If you’re the one who tends to live moment to moment, be sure to meet your spouse halfway. Let him/her know what forms of communication and technology you will actually use.

This is what works for us during this season of our life. Feel free to use this, tweak it, and share what works for you.

  1. We eat together.  No, it’s not outdated. Families still actually eat meals together. We try to do this as often as we can, but doing it every night isn’t very common for us. Three to four meals a week is more typical. Great conversations can take place including discussions about what happened today and what’s coming up next week.
  2. We use phone calls and text messaging. There’s not a day that I don’t take some time to talk with Marilyn via cell phone. We really benefit from checking in on each other during the breaks of our work day. Plus, it has been really beneficial when plans change or new opportunities present themselves.
  3. We pre-plan our week. I already do this for myself during my Weekly Review. It consists of sorting the previous week’s paperwork, organizing my to-do list, and prioritizing things for the upcoming week. I decided to start inviting my wife into this time as it gives her a chance to give input on the upcoming week’s priorities. It’s been beneficial as it helps us to see each other’s priorities and find a rhythm that works for us both.
  4. We use the same systems. This helps us know where to look for info. Currently, we use iPhones and Google Calendar. iMessaging allows us to stay in contact easily. Marilyn loves being ably to know when I’ve actually read her message! Google Calendar has been a life saver. We each have separate calendars, but we subscribe to each other’s calendar so we can see what events are coming up.
  5. We plan our year in bi-annual blocks. In the past, this has involved going to Starbucks for a few hours with a laptop (so we can access Google Calendar and other apps) and a cheap paper calendar so we can scribble all over it. Once we pacified our inner coffee monsters, we planned out the major events for the next 6 months (vacations, birthdays, out-of-town business trips, etc.). Then if there’s  a major project we’ve been putting off, we spend a little time working on it. The last project was our will. After the work is done, we go grab something to eat or do a little shopping.

This list certainly isn’t exhaustive and may not work for you depending on what season of life you are currently in. What are some things that you and your spouse do to stay connected each week? Leave a comment and let’s help each other!

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